From Nurse to Patient - Lessons on Pain and Faith
- By David Lowry
Sherry Oxford spent over four decades as a nurse, providing compassionate care to patients during some of the most vulnerable moments of their lives. From witnessing the profound joy of childbirth to the heartbreaking grief of families coping with loss, she navigated the emotional landscape of healthcare with resilience and empathy. However, a recent health condition has thrust Sherry into an unfamiliar role – that of the patient. In a powerful interview on Peaceful Life Radio, she shares her journey of finding peace amidst physical limitations, drawing strength from her spiritual beliefs, and redefining her priorities. Leaders in healthcare and beyond would be wise to listen to Sherry’s poignant reflections, as she offers invaluable insights gleaned from both sides of the patient-caregiver experience. Here are ten profound quotes from this interview that encapsulate some of Sherry’s wisdom.
Sherry Oxford's Insights on Pain and Suffering
Finding Gifts in Challenges
"There's no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hand."
Sherry explains, While problems can initially appear solely as burdens or sources of pain if we approach them with an open mind, we may discover profound gifts hidden within. When I was first confronted with chronic pain and physical limitations, it felt like a cruel problem that robbed me of my independence and ability to live life as I once did. However, by shifting my perspective, I realized this problem offered me the gift of developing deeper empathy, compassion, and patience for others suffering from similar conditions.”
The quote reminds me that life’s struggles, while painful, also present opportunities for personal growth, wisdom, and reframing our priorities in more fulfilling ways. By maintaining an open heart and mind, the gifts contained within our problems can enrich our lives profoundly if we have the courage to embrace them.
The Universality of Suffering
"I am more acutely aware that nobody exits this life unscathed, and everyone will be brought to their knees by something. There will be cries from within that cannot be ignored."
Sherry explains, “For years as a nurse, I witnessed immense suffering in my patients and their families. However, there was always a degree of separation, as I was the caregiver rather than the one directly experiencing the pain and hardship. My own health crisis has shattered that divide.1I now understand on a visceral level that no one gets through life unaffected by difficulties, tragedies, illnesses or losses that will test our fortitude to the core. Whether it’s a devastating diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, a debilitating injury or any number of other challenges, we will all inevitably be “brought to our knees” by something that shakes us to our foundations.”
Sherry’s quote reminds us of the universality of suffering, which binds all people together in a shared human experience, regardless of our circumstances. It reminds us that we are not alone in facing hardship and that cultivating compassion for others also allows us to have compassion for ourselves during life’s most trying times.
Comfort from Courage and Faith
"I believe that a Divine Being loves and cares for me. Just as that being cares for the sparrows in my yard."
Sherry explains, “Throughout my life, I’ve found immense solace in the beauty of the natural world around me – the wildflowers, trees, birds, and other creatures that inhabit my two acres of land. Observing them and nurturing their habitats has been a spiritual practice for me. When I watch the sparrows flit about my yard, building their nests and raising their young, I’m reminded that even these small beings are provided for by a higher power or divine source. Their basic needs are met through the design and abundance of the natural world. This quote expresses my belief that just as the sparrows are looked after, I, too, am loved and cared for by that same divine presence, source, or being. Despite the physical suffering I may endure, I am held in the embrace of a benevolent force greater than myself.
Sherry’s quote reminds us of the importance of faith and points to the perspective that we are all part of a grand design worthy of love simply by virtue of our existence in this world. Just as the sparrows’ basic needs are provided for, so too are ours—perhaps not always in the ways we might prefer, but on a deeper, spiritual plane.
Overcoming the Fear of Death
"This faith has made me unafraid of death and also curious and excited to find out what happens next. It's a comfort, knowing this pain will not last forever."
Sherry explains, “Throughout my nursing career, I witnessed death frequently and the grief it brought to families. However, my personal faith has instilled in me the belief that our souls are eternal and that physical death is simply a transition to whatever lies beyond this earthly existence. This perspective allows me to be unafraid of death itself. Rather than fearing the unknown of what happens after we die, I am filled with a sense of curiosity and even excitement to ultimately discover what awaits at that next stage of our soul’s journey.”
Sherry’s faith provides her with immense comfort in knowing that her chronic pain and physical suffering are temporary and will not last forever. Her belief that once she passes from this world, her “soul will be free from the confines and frailties of this physical body” gives her courage and hope.
The Importance of Patience in Healing
"I tell people we must be patient. Our bodies and minds are all different and unique. And we don't all heal at the same rate."
Sherry explains, “Having gone through my own journey of adjusting to chronic pain and its impacts on my independence, I understand the frustration of wanting to heal quickly and get back to “normal” life. There can be immense pressure, both internal and external, to bounce back rapidly. However, I’ve learned that each person’s experience with pain, illness, or injury is profoundly unique. Our bodies have varying abilities to mend, shaped by factors like our age, genetics, overall health status, and the specifics of the condition itself.
Sherry’s quote reflects the compassionate advice we might give to someone newly diagnosed with a chronic pain condition or physical limitation who is struggling to find their footing in their new reality.
Surrounding Yourself with Positivity
"Surround yourself with people who are supportive and avoid drama in relationships."
Sherry explains, “Throughout my nursing career, I witnessed firsthand how draining negativity, toxic relationships, and unnecessary drama can be – especially when you’re already depleted from the physical and emotional tolls of illness or injury. Negative energy from certain people can hinder one’s healing process. When I became the patient myself, I realized even more acutely how vital it is to be surrounded by those who are caring, compassionate, and willing to offer genuine support without judgment or personal agendas. Their empathy and positivity provided much-needed comfort and resilience.”
Sherry’s quote reminds us of the importance of cultivating a positive, uplifting support system of family and friends who can provide encouragement during difficult times, such as dealing with chronic pain and limitations.
Self-Care for Body and Soul
"Getting enough sleep, physical exercise and nutrition, recreation and feeding yourself spiritually are important."
Sherry explains, “Getting sufficient, quality sleep is crucial for allowing my body and mind to recharge and heal as much as possible each night. Physical exercise, even if adapted to my current limitations, keeps my muscles strong, improves circulation, and boosts endorphins to elevate my mood.”
She continues, “Chronic pain can strip away one’s sense of purpose and inner peace if we allow it. Spiritual nourishment helps me maintain hope, find meaning in my suffering, and tap into a deeper wellspring of strength during difficult days.
Sherry’s advice reminds us that in addition to exercise and nutrition, we must “feed ourselves spiritually” in whatever resonates most. This might include practices like meditation, prayer, spiritual study, and nurturing my connection to nature and the divine.
The Power of Gratitude
"I have a practice of waking up in the morning and lying in bed thinking of all the people and things that I'm grateful for."
Sherry explains, “Each morning when I first wake up, instead of immediately getting out of bed, I intentionally take time to lie there quietly and reflect on all the people, experiences, and blessings in my life that I’m grateful for. I find this to be a grounding way to start my day with a positive mindset focused on appreciation rather than dwelling on my challenges or discomforts right away. It’s almost like doing a gratitude meditation.
On some days, my gratitude list might include being thankful for my loving family, neighbors who are like extended family, my nurturing church community, the beauty of nature surrounding me, modern healthcare, or simply being alive to experience another day. On other days, I may express gratitude for seemingly small things – like my cozy bed, the morning sunlight filtering through the trees, the melodic bird songs outside my window, or being able to make a warm cup of tea.”
Sherry’s wisdom reminds us of the importance of the lens we use as we approach the day ahead. Through gratitude, we can face difficulties with inner peace, resilience, and hope.
The Healing Power of Empathy
"That human connection, that display of empathy, that soul-to-soul expression of concern, made a world of difference."
Sherry explains, “As a nurse myself for over four decades, I understand the healing power of human connection and compassionate touch, even if it’s just a brief embrace. She then describes a nurse who reached out to her in a moment when she felt overwhelmed. “In that moment of being the patient, her (the nurse) hug conveyed so much more than mere physical contact. It was a “soul-to-soul expression of concern” that transcended our typical doctor-patient roles and professional boundaries. With that hug, she was relating to me on a deeper, human level – acknowledging my pain, fears, and discouragement as a fellow human being. Her display of empathy helped me feel truly seen, heard, and cared about in my suffering beyond just clinical treatment. That simple act of kindness was so impactful because it provided profound comfort, reassurance, and hope when I needed it most.
This quote by Sherry reminds us that sometimes the smallest gestures can “make a world of difference” for patients when they feel genuine compassion and empathetic human connection from their providers, friends, and loved ones. It’s about being treated with dignity as a whole person, not just an illness or injury to be managed.
The Serenity Prayer for Balance
"Part of the Serenity Prayer says, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Sherry explains, “When I had that emotional meltdown after surgery, sobbing because I couldn’t even get to the bathroom unassisted, I felt powerless and afraid I would be permanently disabled. At that moment, I had to accept that there were aspects of my condition and recovery process that were out of my control. No amount of willpower alone could instantly heal my body or make the pain disappear. I had to find the “serenity to accept” those things I could not change through sheer force of effort or positive thinking. However, the prayer also reminds me to have “the courage to change the things I can.” While I couldn’t control the injury itself, I could control other factors like following my physical therapy diligently, adapting my lifestyle, asking for help when needed, and maintaining a resilient mindset.
This beautiful quote reminds us of the importance of a balanced perspective. We should strive to accept our limitations with serenity and grace while courageously adapting and growing in whatever ways are possible. It’s a reminder to consciously let go of what we cannot change while boldly changing what we can.
Conclusion
Our interview with Sherry Oxford was inspirational. Her story offers a powerful testament to the human spirit’s ability to find peace and purpose in the face of adversity. Her insights on chronic pain, faith, and the importance of human connection serve as a valuable resource for anyone navigating their own healthcare journey. By embracing a growth mindset, cultivating gratitude, and seeking support from loved ones, we can all discover the strength and resilience to overcome life’s challenges.